Petra. The post from Ms. Billygoat above yours received a lot of flames.  🔥 

You have a lot of details to share.  One woman’s normal is a man’s fantasy.  Please do not spare the details!

Thanks. 

Eric, read what has been said above, and read it again...and again and again and again.

I would be exceptionally careful in making sure your wife is really onboard with you playing, and she not. If you don't have absolutely 100% open communication, there might be something brewing here that you know nothing about. Heart to heart communication is key here. Why do you want to play? Is there anything in it for her? Why does she want you to play? How will she feel when you come home after just having had sex with another woman? Or, would she get to watch? There's a lot of details here and I'm just scratching the surface.

In 15 years, we have bumped into only a single married couple where the husband played but the wife didn't. The wife of the other couple and I really clicked, but she wasn't playing, only her husband was. My wife wasn't interested because the husband smoked. So, nothing happened.

Others above are very correct; single guys are very, very, very common in the lifestyle. You are going to have to put together a fantastic profile on a swinger dating such as swinglifestyle.com. And I do mean FANTASTIC. To date, including the subject line and your three posts so far, you've managed to eek out 23 words. My wife and I do look for single males from time to time. But, if we found a profile with 23 words, we'd think "Ok, he's not really into this and hasn't put any effort forward into creating a great profile. Next!" It's trivially easy to discount single male profiles. Don't make it easy. Have a very complete, very detailed profile. Have great pictures, perhaps professionally done. You don't have to be naked in them (and as Shy_Couple said, do NOT include dick picks!), but you do have to look well groomed and in shape. If you don't get them professionally done, don't take selfies in mirrors with your cat's dirty cat pan behind you. Don't take selfies with empty Budweiser cans sitting on your  dresser. Don't take selfies with you unshaven for a day. Etc. Etc. Etc. Be clear about the kind of arrangement you want, what you're up for, what you're comfortable with. Be clear you are married and playing with permission AND CAN PROVE IT. If your wife isn't willing to confirm you are playing with permission, this isn't going to go anywhere.

First of all good luck!  You will need it.  Single guys are a dime a dozen and not very high up in most swingers list.  Married guys playing alone are probably even lower on the list.  Be prepared to make an outstanding profile on whatever site you are using.  With good pictures that are not cock pics and a well written bio.  If you are not in good shape you might want to start working on it.  The competition is huge. Without that you probably will not get any responses.  Also be prepared for people to want your wife to verify that you have permission to play alone.  Lots of guys claim this, but few are being honest.  If you are looking for the easy way there isn’t one.  You will be fighting an uphill battle.  

Back in the 'golden age' of porn (80s-90s), there pretty much was only one option and that was to be a star in porn movies. There were no other alternatives, and if you didn't become a star, you were already close to the end of your rope. Also, social pressure, society, and stigmas cause more than a few porn stars who more often felt either trapped by situations or due to the abundance of drugs and the party culture of the time, to turn to drugs and alcohol as a crutch. These days, there are so many different options to make money in porn, it no longer is a 'do or die' proposition. There are still movies, but now there are dozens of other choices, and all of them can be profitable if you are looking to make money with it. Probably the biggest is Only Fans and other similar sites, but there is also personal websites, subscription services, selling adult products, streaming, photography, audio, 'custom' (making something for a specific kink or specific person), VR, erotic stories, and many others. Revenues of the adult industry are difficult to determine, but a 1970 federal study estimated that the total retail value of hardcore pornography in the United States was no more than $5 million to $10 million. But by 2011, pornography was becoming one of the biggest businesses in the United States and in 2014, the porn industry was believed to bring in at least $13 billion a year. As of 2023, the global porn industry made over $97 BILLION dollars and it is expected to exceed $120 billion in 2024.

People are no longer looking at porn as a last resort, but in many times, a first resort. Kaden Kross was attending Sacramento State University (as a psych major) when she quit school to become a 'porn star'. She later moved behind the cameras to become a director of porn movies. There are constant stories in the news of women and couples making 6 figures on Only Fans and other similar sites, in addition to their day jobs.

I think the bigger problem here is when something...anything, becomes an addiction. Be it drugs, alcohol, porn or anything else. To much of anything can easily end up being a bad thing...for both the creator and the consumer.