Not as Crap Movies

Riders of Justice

Danish comedy.

In my experience, all Scandinavian comedies are dark.

The comedy in this movie is predicated on dysfunctional people committing a homicidal vigilante rampage.

Pretty hilarious.



:4stars:

Nope

I didn’t dislike it, I don’t want my time back.

I didn’t really get it when I was watching. I’m not sure I’ve gotten it now.

I’m not a big fan of horror movies, so I’m not well primed for the use of the genre as a means to carry a metaphor, which is what Peele seems to trade in.

I’m not not recommending it.



:3stars:

Anyone else here ever see Nightcrawler? If not, I highly recommend it.

I have not, but I’m open by default if Jake’s in it.

Related… hot damn, Source Code is so awesome.

Source Code is good. It has third-act issues. So does Edge of Tomorrow, a very very similar concept. I think it’s a bit more enjoyable than Source Code but they are both good. Those are a pretty good concept pairing to be honest.

Nightcrawler was really solid. Rene Russo’s husband directed.

I personally found that last loop in Source Code to be one of the most satisfying scenes I’ve ever watched in a movie.

I like Source Code, and love Edge of Tomorrow.

Not sure about your movie preferences. If you haven't seen them yet, try The Old Guard (2020) and Everything, Everywhere, All at Once (2022).

I liked The Old Guard a lot. Apparently, a sequel is in the works.

I haven’t seen EEAAO yet. I really want to, but I’m not going into a theater, so unless it eventually lands on Netflix or Prime, I’m out of luck.

I liked Jolt a lot, but it seems most people didn’t.

I’m kind of a sucker for a Guy Ritchie film, but I’ve missed quite a few of them of late, so I’m trying to catch up. I liked The Gentlemen a lot. Apparently, Netflix is working to get a series started with Ritchie at the helm. That would be cool to see.

I just started watching Wrath of Man, but I’m not sold on it. Everything and everyone seem very by-the-numbers and dark, and Statham is so quiet/brooding as to be a walking corpse. Early on, the pace is really slow. It’s kind of like you get the set-up at the beginning of the film, then you’re introduced to all these characters that are really familiar, and you know mayhem is going to happen, so you’re just sitting waiting for it. There hasn’t been any (apparent) indication of any the usual Ritchie misdirection, that makes his films fun. And the characters, while colorful, have no likability, the way a lot of Ritchie character have. I’ll probably keep on with it, but things better lighten-up and get moving soon.

Gun City

Spanish (as in the country) film.

Cops, gangsters, and unions. Birds of a feather.

The lead, Luis Tosar, gives Judge Dredd a run for his money in the tactical frown department.

There’s a fight sequence in it that’s the closest thing I’ve seen to a serious version of the church scene in The Kingsman.

Unlike The Kingsman, this movie is terribly dark and depressing.



:4stars:

Spiderhead

The SCP has its way with some D-classes.

Goose’s son from Maverick is thrown in prison, and gets a cushy deal as long as he’s willing to let Thor mind-control him with an iPhone.

It’s a very pretty movie. The drug names are clever. Thor is excellent.

I waffled which thread to put it in. Generally speaking, it’s not as crap. The ending is total crap.



:3stars:

I should add, this movie had extra appeal for me because I’ve taken that train a bunch of times.

Phun phact: the bribes necessary to get Metra’s cooperation on that film were a huge scandal. IIRC, big enough someone high-up in management blew their brains out.

Lastly, one of the things I love about it was how much it did with so little. Almost the whole thing is on one tiny set.

Eh. Overall, I’d say it’s crap. It becomes very predictable very early and never strays from that path. It’s cool seeing Thor playing not-Thor characters, and he definitely plays the tech-bro douche quite well. Still, it’s a solid Don’t Bother from me.

So, you predicted…



For me, the lack of ingenuity in the story was offset by the ingenuity of the ideas. It found it thought provoking.

Also pretty. Also Thor, who’s also pretty.


If you want an unpredictable movie with Thor munching on scenery, I recommend Bad Times at the El Royale.

Does anyone have any thoughts about Guns Akimbo. I liked it, everyone I have recommended it to didn't. Daniel Radcliffe seems to be the new Nic Cage in terms of doing films because they are interesting and not worrying about what it does for his career.

Nicolas Cage got in trouble for unpaid taxes, and was overextended on buying expensive things. That was in 2009. He sued his business manager, who sued him back.
Afterwards, Cage started taking any role that paid, until he was finally comfortably in the black again in 2022. Cage says he'll be more selective about film roles going forwards.

I got tired of him being in so many roles, and started avoiding his films.

Speaking of, El Royale takes place on a state line, which made me think of…


County Line

and

County Line: All In


That ol’ (literally) Duke boy is at it again, but this time he’s the law.

I saw All In first. Had no idea it was a sequel.

What sold me from the trailer is the murder takes place during a Civil War reenactment. This is a novel idea to me, and pretty hilarious considering reenactors are weirdos.

Further hilarity ensues because the body is on the county line, throwing geriatric Sheriff Luke Duke (who needs to lay off the donuts) into a fierce rivalry with the longer chromosomed, city slicker Sheriff still bruised from falling off the cabbage truck.

A tired setup, but what saves it is the writer does a passable impression of Joss Whedon. His sensibility actually meshes very well with these particular stock characters and situations. It was good enough I watched the first one.

That was crap. They hadn’t figured out the right formula yet.



County Line
:2stars:

County Line: All In
:3stars:

Add one to each if you liked The Dukes of Hazzard.

The caterpillars on the heroine from All In get 6 stars.

This is weaved into Massive Talent. Cage in the movie is clearly strapped for cash, and people have stopped taking him seriously. The big difference is rather than profligate spending, it’s because he’s an intolerably pretentious and self-involved douchebag.

The movie revolves around him, with great reluctance and embarrassment, attending a fan’s birthday party because he’s offered a million dollars for it.

I met him once because one of those residences is (was?) in Glastonbury. I think he might have had another one in Bath as well.

I pitched this to my dad tonight and… he watched it yesterday.

Glad to be of service. Assuming he liked it. :)

Perhaps he found your digs here, and read the suggestion before you brought it up.

He didn’t dislike it. He said his plan was to stop and have us watch it together if it reached a certain amount of quality. He felt it never quite reached that.

I have a feeling he overestimated the quality I require. I can come off like a movie snob at times.

Also, loved the shit out of Atomic Blonde, which he found mostly forgettable.

Turns out it's farther along than I'd thought, being filmed as of August. No word about a release date.
Another suggestion for subego: Mad Max Fury Road. (post-apocalyptic action)

In case you've already seen it (likely), the spinoff / sequel / prequel Furiosa is in filming now. Release scheduled for May 2024.

It's being filmed in Australia again. Fury Road filming was moved to Namibia after unexpected heavy rain filled the desert area with wildflowers.

:5stars: :)

I liked Jolt, starring Kate Beckinsale, over on Prime. Most folks, it seems, did not, though. I found it entertaining. Similarly, I thought Gunpowder Milkshake, starring Karen Gillan, was pretty entertaining, apparently putting me at odds with most reviewers *shrugs*

I know it got slagged by the fanboys, but have you tried the live-action Cowboy Bebop on Netflix? I liked it a lot, and I loved the anime.

How heavy does your dad like his drama? Would he be up for some more classic cinema?

We’re both always up for classic cinema, however my dad’s seen lots of movies.

Neither of us are heavy drama adverse. He’s probably more welcoming than myself in that department. Violence against dogs triggers him.

My dad really dislikes anime for whatever reason. I think Speed Racer set a bad precedent with him. I never really liked it either, but thankfully, Battle of the Planets became a thing.

I’m curious about the LA Bebop, but the bits I saw seemed a little cringy.

I think you should give the LA Bebop a shot. Just somehow try not to compare it to the anime.

I know you said he doesn’t like anime, but I really liked Ghost in the Shell: SAC 2045 on Netflix. You kinda don’t have to have seen any of the preceding GitS installments. Obviously it helps, but, since sci-fi often just drops you into worlds without explaining them, you can roll with it.

As for classic cinema, has your dad ever seen M? How about Seven Samurai? Rashomon?

So...not John Wick?

Strangely, I’ve not seen it, but from what I understand, that’s a no go.

I’ve wanted to get my dad to watch the original GitS. I mean, I only consider it technically anime. The tone is very western to me. Everything fanciful in it is solidly based in semi-plausible technology, and there’s no genre-bashing.

The only reason I haven’t insisted is because even though the story is actually super-simple, it’s presented in such an impenetrable manner I think it would frustrate him. It took me multiple viewings to figure it out.

I was hopeful ScarJo prancing around naked would make it an easier pill to swallow, but the Barbie doll solution was just one of the ways that movie didn’t turn out as expected.


I’m definitely willing to give the LA Bebop a shot. I enjoyed Solo, which was also fine as long as you consider it a generic Star Wars movie instead of a Han Solo movie. If anything, the block is more that I (strangely) don’t electively watch TV or movies any more. I’m too restless. The recent spate has been me hanging a lot with my dad.


We both love classic cinema. The only issue is we’ve seen a lot. There’s a rental place here that has I think the biggest catalog in the country. That was a staple for us during the 90s. Kurosawa is a favorite of both of ours.

I’m almost positive my dad’s seen M. I haven’t only because that rental place I mentioned’s copy was kinda blown out in the whites, and had white subtitles with no border. I gave up 5 minutes in.

As I’m implying here, I consider the following to be important distinguishing characteristics of anime.

1) Generally speaking, it’s fanciful and escapist. Even when awful things happen, it’s not trying to rub your nose in how grim reality is.

2) It unapologetically genre-bashes.

Lost Illusions

French (as in the country) movie. From the Balzac novels.

It’s long, cynical, and French. The payoff is absurd, which I actually really liked. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to. It’s long. It made me want to watch All About Eve again. It’s long.



:3.5stars:


All About Eve

:5stars:

As an aside, my dad says it’s way easier for him to understand 19th century French than it is the 21st century variety.

I’m warming up to Lost Illusions. I imagine for someone who’s French, it’s more readily apparent Balzac was peeing in the Cheerios of some very powerful people. Add a half-star.

subego, it appears your free time has gone up dramatically. Is the CGI work done - are you a free man again?

There has been a dramatic change in the number of movie nights with my dad. I’ve been aiming for a few a week. Some of these have been backlog.

With the project I’m in crunch, but at the moment it’s a relative lull. I was able to get ahead when my partner caught COVID.

I'm sure you had nothing to do with that. ;) What an unfortunate accident.

Enjoy your quasi-vacation. For silly fun, try:
Jumanji - Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
Jumanji - The Next Level (2019)

note: you don't need to have watched the older Jumanji films.

Or some big-budget Cameron you may not have seen:
Alita - Battle Angel (2019)

I enjoyed all of the above.

I genuinely felt bad for how useful to me him catching the plague was.

How kids focused is Jumanji? That might be a hard sell.

Good call on Alita. Wanted to see it, and then it fell off my radar.

The original (old) Jumanji films (Jumanji, Zathura) were kid-focused, and are apparently canon for the newer films.

That said, the newer ones go in their own direction. They start with high-school kids, but are more adult-focused than not. I'd rather not say more. Silly fun in my opinion. They aren't SciFi, so not sure if this is recommended for your Dad's tastes. Maybe just yours.

Yeah… they’re probably more my speed. Even if it’s not kid focused, my dad really hates fantasy. I couldn’t get him to watch John Carter.

newer jumanjiis are really comedies.

Yeah, I can confirm, they are fun!

Hmmm… my dad (and I) liked National Treasure. How big of a hop are we talking if I throw in there National Treasure was kind of a riff off Indiana Jones?

I haven't seen National Treasure, and it's been awhile since seeing any of the Indiana Jones movies. My impression is the later Jumanjis appeal to a broad audience.

Another suggestion that can appeal to broad audiences: True Grit (2010)

It's a western story, based on a book. It's not a remake of the John Wayne movie of the same name. Rather, it's a fresh conversion of the book, and a lot more faithful to it. The studio expected it to have limited appeal, and didn't reserve enough screens. Most people who saw it, came back to treat family and friends. The studio had to scramble for weeks, to keep getting more screens.

:5stars:

A small thing, but I really appreciated the busted capillary makeup on Jeff Bridges.

It’s silly fun. We both enjoyed it.

Comic action movie with Nicholas Cage, who has excellent chemistry with his sidekick. The twist is they’re historians instead of action heroes, and and are plunged into the action only by dint of obscure historical knowledge.

I recommend the first one if you’re in the mood for action that doesn’t take itself very seriously. The second one isn’t as tight, but not bad by any measure.

I brought them up to help triangulate my dad’s taste, but that’s hard if you haven’t seen them. :)


I guess another way to put the Indiana Jones thing is pulpy fantasy is an easier sell, and it seemed like Jumanji might work that angle.

Any world where unicorns and dragons don't show up doesn't seem like fantasy to me. Although there is some "magic" in Indy*, I wouldn't classify it as fantasy. Adventure, sure.

*(ignoring the aliens in indy4 also means we don't have to call it science fiction)

Melty occult Nazis and heart-pulling witch doctors are fantasy to me. :)

That's just religious studies. :D

Ok, pagan.

Watched this tonight. Bizarre. Not quite sure what to make of it yet. The tone kinda flies all over the place and I couldn’t quite get a lock. That’s not really a complaint.

An unexpected contender for one of the best date scenes ever in a movie.



:4stars: